It’s been a long while since I have written on the blog. The words just wouldn’t come. I’ll take that as God saying…wait. The purpose of starting this blog was to share our story of loving my child just the way they (preferred pronoun) are. Sadly that doesn’t come easy for some. That story will continue soon. Until then……
What is the wilderness for us?
Maybe it’s a place where we learn we are not all we thought we were. Where God reveals the truth of what’s inside us and what we are lacking. A place where God speaks and you learn to hear and listen.
A place where His compassion, patience, grace and mercy, forgiveness and goodness are learned. Over and over again.
A place where God calls you to obedience. Even when you are afraid. A place where God shows you His protection within that obedience and pours down His spiritual blessings upon you.
I know it can be filled with hurt.
Deep difficult hurts. For me, a place to learn the realization that I am the weak one. A place where you become thirsty and hungry. It is where God never fails to feed your hunger and thirst through Him. A place where you learn who is the strong one for you. Jesus.
The wilderness can be a place with twists and turns along the way. You never know what is up ahead. A place where God reveals to you idol after idol you are holding on to and He calls you to place them on the altar. Things/people who are good, yet they have taken a place in your heart where God should be. I know that walking to the altar can be heart-wrenching and you feel like you are going to fall apart. And you do fall. And you learn to fall looking up, and God picks you up, carries you, and says let’s keep going.
It’s that place which seems so quiet and dry and lonely. A place where you learn His patience and forgiveness. Forgiveness not only towards others but forgiveness towards yourself. Over and over again. Yet He never leaves you alone within that. It’s a place of wrestling with God, yet God is a good patient wrestler.
It’s in that wilderness that you still at times want to lead the way.
You try, it doesn’t work. God reminds you He is leading you and guiding you. Even though you may lose sight of that, God reminds you security doesn’t come in circumstances but security is found in who He is. All of who He is for you.
The wilderness can consist of the most heart-wrenching difficult days of hurts, fears, and tears. A place where you realize you are weak and yet question God’s answers. You might ask why God, how long God. It’s that thirsty and hungry place, where you are just worn out and tired. You may begin to feel lost. You tell God you can’t do this anymore. I know there can be times you get angry with God. I did. You become weak and frail and your tears are poured out in the presence of Jesus. I know that place. For me, it was where I learned those are the times I felt most put together. For it was then I remembered how weak I was and how strong He is. It is there I knew without a doubt God takes those tears and does what needs to be done, for and within me.
Maybe the wilderness is where you learn God’s compassion for you.
A place where He so gently and tenderly shows you the better way. His way. A place where you learn how His mercy, grace, and love sustain you as you hear His voice reminding you He is there.
A place where love is hard.
However, God reminds you how much He loves you and calls you to love others. No matter what, no matter who. It’s a place where learning about loving others God’s way. It’s a place where learning to love others His way never ends.
The wilderness calls you to search for His answers. It’s a place where you learn a deeper connection to your Lord and Savior. It’s a place where He teaches you peace and joy when you want to fall apart. It’s a place where you experience hope like you never have before. I know it can be a place of reminder that God is not done writing my story.
It can be a place where you experience rest amid turmoil. A place where you learn how faithful He is in the waiting. A place where you learn God is good in the visible and the invisible. A place where there is the hard difficult lesson that the results for you and the results for others are not yours but they are His. A place where you must give that up to Him.
The wilderness is a place where you remember His promises and His blessings. You learn intimacy with Jesus. A place where you learn to walk with God like you have never before. It’s about remembering the power of God for you. It’s about restoring hope. It’s God showing you He wants all of you. A place where He continues to show you all of who He is for you.
A place where you experience the greatest gift ever….The Holy Spirit is living within you and for you in ways you never knew before.
It’s about the Cross.
It’s about never forgetting about His body on that cross and the blood He shed you you. It’s about the blood He shed for me! It’s about living a life remembering that the Gospel of Jesus was not just for the day He came to be my Savior but that the Gospel of Jesus is for me, every single day……always, yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
The wilderness is a place where you learn that the Cross is everything. What He did on that cross for me is what should lead me to do for others. Sacrificial and unconditional love which includes forgiveness and grace. A place where you are reminded of past hurts and wounds not only from others but also the self-inflicted wounds you brought on yourself.
It is about taking all of what the Cross means into the place of those hurts and wounds. It’s taking a look at how you said you forgave, and some you did, but others maybe not. It’s learning forgiveness is not saying you forgive and stuffing it down. It’s about about grieving and forgiving in a new way in the presence of Jesus. Going to Him in remembering what He did for you, and telling Him you forgive others in what they did towards you. Having Him search your heart, for those self-inflicted wounds and receiving His forgiveness.
It’s about healing those hurts. It’s about God healing those hurts.
The wilderness is difficult and is filled with beauty. Beauty that can only come from God.
So is there another side of the wilderness here on earth?
Is there a “promised land” here on Earth? I think there is. You just have to let God take you through. It’s right there. It’s taking all that you have learned through the wilderness and taking the next step; taking all God’s goodness with you. Taking all of who He is and is for you with you.
What’s on the other side? It’s about saying I’m here Lord. Take all of me. It’s about looking up and knowing without a doubt I am free in Christ and knowing all of who God created me to be.
It’s about remembering without a doubt….it’s about the cross of Jesus and now knowing without a doubt ….. I. can. be. ……. all he created me to be because of Him.
Isaiah 43:18-19
18 “Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.