It was my intention this week to share one of the other topics I left off at in the previous post. Yet my intentions are not always God’s. I struggled to have the words even for the pieces of the story I know so well. In that, I know God is saying not yet, there is something else and I wait for it to come.
And with that, here I am.
I often hear stories of the lives of other parents of trans and gay kids/loved ones. The rejection is real. The struggle to know how to do this is real. The many areas of treatment towards the lgbtq+ from God’s church are good in some areas, but that doesn’t take away from the many areas where It is wrong and hurtful and not of Jesus. I look at the rejection, the broken families, the self-harm, the attempted suicides, the prayers and tears of others and I have to wonder why me. I look at the fear, and the wrestling questions and I have to ask, Why God, why did you choose me? Why did you choose me not to have an abundance of the above? Ya, there was some, but nothing compared to some of the stories I hear. Why did God allow my story to work the way he has and the way he is now? And the humble tears come. Why me, God?
In years past, I have had somewhere learned and acquired the perception that you just walk away from these kinds of people. I hate saying that. Before going any further in this, I want to say I am sorry to any LGBTQ+ individual who might one day read this. I am sorry for the way the church has treated you, and that includes me. I’m sorry I didn’t see you as one God created in His image, just as anyone else. God sees you and God loves you.
Let’s now talk about what transgender means.
I could list off some not-so-nice things I have heard or labels put on them, but I don’t think I could do that without a judgemental heart towards where they were heard from. It hurts to read them, and it hurts to hear them. A simple explanation of transgender- is a person whose internal sense of their gender identity isn’t congruent to their biological sex. Gender dysphoria is the distress that comes along with that incongruence. And for some, that level of distress can be unbearable. Though, I can tell you more….they are people who cry, they laugh, they hurt, they can encourage others, they have talents, they are fun to be around, they are smart, they are compassionate, they are respectful, they work hard, and then there is the other side….you know the things we all struggle with. Then there are some who love Jesus!
The question is how does one lose the perception of “just walk away”? How does one with a different Biblical view of how another lives their life, come alongside them and walk with them and love them? Is that even possible? I mean many don’t see that. How does one of faith come alongside a gay or trans individual and love them, love them as Jesus loves them? How do you not show rejection? Or maybe ask, how do you show rejection? How do you include them in everyday life, how do you include them within the church? How do you jump over the hurdles that have been so ingrained in us for so many years? The ones we have allowed ourselves to not break down and love others as Christ calls us to love. I had hurdles, and I had a lot God wanted me to learn.
That’s why I am here.
To share our story on how we did it and are doing it. I have made many mistakes through this, and I am still learning to do this in God’s way. With that, I can say without a doubt, Yes, you can sit at the same table and visit, you can even live in the same house, you can actually hang out together and do lots of everyday living and in that, you can believe differently and love outrageously. It can be done.
Matthew 22:37-40 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
I want to aim for that kind of love Jesus speaks of in Matthew. I will never be there totally, but it is my prayer that I keep giving God the love I do have for him and that day by day he multiplies that love within me for Him and towards others. Some days are hard. Some days I fail small and some days I fail big. But God never fails and he picks me back up and says let’s keep going. I’m glad God didn’t take it back the day I prayed that prayer. I needed God to bring me to where I am today and where he will take me in all my tomorrows in loving him and others.
Coming soon…..The Visit